Opinion: DMV Area Wins Holiday Season
Good morning, I hope you had your morning coffee (says a non-coffee or tea drinker), because I woke up and decided to choose violence against every region that isn’t the DMV this morning. Why did I decide this? It’s simple really, because no other region did as much as they could to make their [football] fans happy in the last two weeks.
Ravens Clinch Top Seed
Does this need any explaining? Lamar and the Ravens absolutely truck-sticked the Miami Dolphins on their way to clinching the top seed in the AFC. Five touchdowns later and Lamar Jackson has the MVP trophy packaged and ready to ship to his house on top of a 56-19 victory. Who should Baltimore really be afraid of at this point? Look at the current standings –
2 seed – Miami – Ha! We just saw what happened there
3 seed – Kansas City – All season I thought the Chiefs would figure it out. Doesn’t seem like that’s going to come true
4 seed – Jacksonville – is Trevor Lawrence going to become this generation’s Philip Rivers? People love him but can never reach a Super Bowl? Seems likely at this point
5 seed – Browns – Say what you want about the Flacco thing, but eventually the clock will strike midnight and Cleveland will turn back into a pumpkin
6 seed – Bills – Way too inconsistent for me to place any trust in this season
7 seed – Colts – Revenge game, anyone?
Baltimore fans, except the ones who are still dumb enough to agree with the idiot saying Lamar isn’t “Quarterbacky” enough for them, had quite possibly the best holiday season out of anyone.
Washington in Play for 2nd Pick
According to tanktathon.com, the Commies are in play for the 2nd overall pick after Arizona took out the Eagles this weekend. I’m not entirely sure of the math but thanks to Washington’s poor strength of schedule, their 4-12 record looks extra pathetic compared to New England and the Cardinals. I hate having to technically root for the Cowboys (I feel dirty just typing that), but Washington locking into the #2 pick would be incredible for the franchise*.
*Unless they make the moronic decision to draft a Quarterback.
Sam Howell looked… better on Sunday. I’m still planting my flag on the idea that drafting his replacement would be ill-advised. He has no offensive line, a lame-duck coaching staff and still has to play at the dump known as FedEx Field. People are way too quick to write Howell off when the team has so many bigger needs to worry about. Washington fans should remember that the franchise needs to focus on stability and relevancy not right now, not repeated errors of the past and thinking a new QB is a one-size-fits-all type of solution.
Maryland Punks Auburn
Can I interest anyone in a randomly selected Cameron Edge highlight?
Oh, how did that get there? I might be a prisoner of the moment, but I don’t care. Kevin Plank needs to get off his rear and break open the checkbook to make sure Cameron Edge stays in College Park. Apologies to Billy Edwards, who won the MVP of the Music City Bowl, but I saw enough to know he ain’t it. A 31-13 thrashing was SO much fun to watch, but fans should be happiest about Edge. With Taulia leaving town, there were major questions among fans about the QB position moving forward, and it looks like the answer has been provided.
Name a region that did the holiday season better. I dare you.
