Washington Confirms Nothing Has Changed – Hires Dan Quinn

This is going to be a completely raw and emotional post so if you came here for rational thoughts, leave now.

In what should come as a shock to absolutely nobody, including myself, the Washington Commanders franchise have chosen to hire a retread head coach in Dan Quinn. After Ben Johnson decided to stay in Detroit, hope seemed fleeting, yet still possible. Josh Harris has proven that he might be able to fix the Washington culture in the front office by not being the worst human being alive, but he has confirmed that nothing will change on the field.

As a part of my rantings and ravings that aren’t shown on this blog (I’d at least like people to think I’m a sane human being), I came to the conclusion that happiness is just a word in the dictionary that fans around the DC beltway will never know the true meaning of. I saw someone Twitter state that it could probably work out because Washington always goes for the big and/or sexy names an it hasn’t worked out. To them I ask, what are you missing and how do you not see that Dan Quinn fits the exact profile of *nearly* every head coach the franchise has hired in the last two decades.

Quinn has been to, and lost a Super Bowl (Ron Rivera) coached an offense that appeared explosive but disappeared in the most critical of moments (Jay Gruden) and isn’t exactly the most forward thinking in terms of how a team should be run (Mike Shanahan, Marty Shottenheimer, Jim Zorn). At least he isn’t Steve Spurrier trying to make a college system work in the NFL; I’ll give him that much.

Based on Quinn’s history and accolades, he fits the mold of a sexy hire. I thought Rivera was an excellent hire for Washington because of his pedigree. I think we all know how that worked out. Who cares if someone like Ben Johnson is incredibly young and considered the sexiest and hottest name on the market. Have we not seen what he’s done in Detroit. Again, I repeat, IN DETROIT OF ALL PLACES. He has that offense working more efficiently and effectively than it ever did even during the Matt Stafford and Calvin Johnson era. I don’t care what his price is, break open the checkbook you incompetent fucks!

This hire is both uninspired but looks great on paper at the same time. It’s exactly like when the Philadelphia 76ers hired Doc Rivers. Oh wait, who is the owner over that team again? Josh Harris? Why does that name sound so familiar in this moment…

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